Sunday, July 4, 2010

True Blood vs. The Twilight Saga: Which bloodsuckers kick the most ass?


































True Blood
Face off 1: vampire mythology
Feed of humans and synthetic blood

Called Tru Blood
Have reflections in mirrors
Is deathly allergic to silver but not to garlic, crosses or holy water
Burn up in sunlight and die
Blood doubles as a hallucinogen and Viagra for humans
Sleep in coffins during the day
Can be killed by wooden stakes

The Twilight Saga
Face off 1: vampire mythology

When in sunlight they sparkle like glitter but do not die
Feed on humans and animal blood
Do not sleep
Cannot be killed by wooden stakes
Have reflections in mirrors
Silver, garlic, crosses, and holy water have no effect


Winner: True Blood, Those who grew up on conventional Vampires will appreciate the way True Blood more closely follows Vampire Mythology.


True Blood
Face off 2: Sexuality

Vampires are very sexual in nature
Vampires have sex with humans
Vampires can choose humans who can become their possession that other Vampires are not supposed to touch
Can glamour humans into doing their bidding.
Fangs come out when turned on
Can have sex for many hours straight
Vampire’s blood can be used by humans as Viagra

The Twilight Saga
Face off 2: Sexuality

Cannot engage in sexual contact
Break out in a case of the shakes when sexual contact is attempted


Winner: Hands down True Blood, How can you have non sexual Vampires? We deserve to see Vampires for the horny bastards that they really are.





















True Blood
Face off 3: Enemies

Werewolves
Shape shifters
Maenads
Other vampires
Religious Vampire hating groups
Humans

The Twilight Saga
Face off 3: Enemies

Werewolves
Shape shifters
Other vampires

Winner: True Blood makes it much more interesting by introducing other mythical creatures and entities such as Maenads and shape shifters. The inclusions of extreme religious cults who hate Vampires add another level of complexity to the storylines.


True Blood
Face off 4: Leading lady

Sookie Stackhouse played by Anna Paquin
Strong willed southern belle
Has telepathic powers
Is not affected by other supernatural beings powers

The Twilight Saga
Face off 4: Leading lady

Bella Swan played by Kristen Stewart
Whiney helpless human
Regular human


Winner: True Blood. Bella is too much of a bore and spends majority of the films as the damsel in distress. Sookie on the other hand is a fireball of a woman who won’t let anyone disrespect her.

--Lists were compiled by a non-vampire, Steven M. Duarte