Friday, December 4, 2009

13 Questions with MyMiserys: Ryan C. Thomas

Interview conducted by MyMiserys

1. How old were you when you wrote what you consider your first story?
I think I was around 7 or 8. I used to staple paper together in elementary school and write these dumb stories all the kids wanted to read. I got in trouble for disrupting the class with them. The one I remember most was a detective story called McCoy PI, LA Homicide. Now think about that...he was a detective AND a private investigator. Haha. I guess he worked two jobs.

2. What inspired you to write it?
Probably the voices I heard in my head every night. "Write stories with lots of characters farting. Because farts are funny. Then burn the school down. BURN IT!"

3. What was the first book you wrote?
The Summer I Died was the first one I ever completed. I tried writing one in high school about aliens that ate people's hearts but I lost it when the word processor died. I think I had around 60 pages. I was pissed. But thank God, because it was horribly written. A bit of wisdom to any younguns who might read this: you're not ready in high school or even college. Be patient and learn the craft. I still cringe at stuff I wrote just five years ago.

4. Of all the books you've written, which is your favorite?
The Summer I Died. Not just because it was my first sale, but because I had so much fun writing it, just going balls to the walls with the gore and torture and jokes. It was like loosing your virginity, a blissful experience you can't repeat. Although I'm trying with the sequel (which is now done and being edited).

5. Which book would you like to forget you wrote?
How To Steal From Your Local Old Folks Home. I got in a lot of trouble for that book. (My techniques were the bomb, though).

6. Who is the most influential person in your life?
Aside from my family...Joe Strummer. I have always been floored by his attitude toward celebrity and the arts and striving for what you want in life. Strummer cared about his fans and made it a point to be humble and nice to everyone, while also eschewing the establishment and influencing change. He had this awesome mix of temerity and benevolence that made him a legend to all musicians. Watch some of the docs about him and you'll be pretty amazed at his lifestyle.

7. Who is your favorite author?
I don't know that I have just one. I 'll pick three: Joe Lansdale, Terry Pratchett and Richard K. Morgan.

8. If you could only own one book, what would it be?
Dune. Herbert makes my brain hurt he's so good. I wish the latter books in the series were as good as the first few. The new series is crap though. Don't get me started.

9. When and where do you write?
On my couch while I watch daytime TV. Well, I don't really watch it, I just like to write to background noise. Except for Ellen. She's fucking hysterical and I can't concentrate when she's on. I gotta get tickets to that.

10. Do you have a "day job?"
I collect abandoned socks from the street. I darn them and throw them back for the next person.

11. Do you have a "dream job?"
Pool Boy at the Playboy Mansion?

12. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
I haven't been to enough places to know. Although I loved loved loved Berlin. I'd like to spend more time there. But shit, I live in San's 75 degrees and sunny in February. Why would I want to move?

13. What is your guilty pleasure?
I don't feel guilty about anything I do. If I climbed naked to the top of the Empire State building and jerked off onto the people below I'd be happy to tout it. But I guess...playing Halo 3 and telling twelve year olds their mothers are whores. Right as I land a plasma grenade on their face. "Eat that, you little fuckstain. Don't come back here until your balls drop!" Trust me, what they yell at me is much worse.

Visit Ryan C. Thomas at:

--MyMiserys (aka Kimberly Cook)

(The Black Glove thanks Ryan Thomas for his time and efforts)